Claudia Cogan Refused to Sleep With Me
Claudia Cogan turned me down when I hit on her. We’ve been friends ever since.
If you know Claudia, then you know she’s gay. I didn’t catch that when I first met her at a comedy show in New York. We saw each other perform. I liked her jokes, and I guess she liked mine.
We chatted after the show was finished and protected each other from awkward conversations in the bar area. Then, I asked her out. Perhaps it was my fault for not saying explicitly that I was asking her out on a hetero date; ya know like people do. Or, maybe it was her fault for not throwing up prominent lesbian signs; like driving a purple pick-up truck. The point is that she said yes and I thought I was going on a date.
We met a few days later and had a bite to eat at an Italian restaurant. We split the bill because it was a modern date I thought or because “Why wouldn’t you?” is what her thinking was I’m sure.
After dinner I suggested we go for a walk. Finally, it dawned on Claudia that she and I had different ideas about how the night should end.
“Victor. Do you know I’m gay?”
“What?” I’d heard her clearly. It was more of a vaudevillian ‘what.’
“You didn’t know I was gay?”
“No…” I was both crestfallen and boner-killed. “Well, we can still hang out and be friends.”
“… Sure.” I didn’t see Claudia roll her eyes, but I felt them in my gut.
She was right to be skeptical. It makes no sense that we’re still besties like 15 years later.
I wuv U Claudia!